Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Not even a week

I think I'm quitting my tech support job today.

I've been thinking about it all day. All week, actually. It's been on my mind since I started there. I just can't stand the place. There's something about it, something about the place itself that just makes me unhappy.

The opposite is true for my job at the bookstore. That job I adore.

To give an idea of the difference in work environments, at the tech support job, when I was introducing myself and mentioned that I'm a physics major, three of the techs responded with "what are you doing here?" while at the bookstore when I said I was a physics major, three of my coworkers wanted to talk physics and discuss theories they'd read about in books.

See the difference? It might seem minor because it's just one event, but it r
eally is a huge deal. I can't discuss philosophy and science with my coworkers at the tech support job, but at the bookstore, I can. I can't grow and learn at the tech support job - it's a complete stalemate intellectually because the only knowledge anyone talks about is how to get the drive-thru (I HATE that spelling, but that's how they spell it) timer working. At the bookstore, I spent an hour today discussing the evolutionary biology of cognitive thought with a coworker, and on one of my breaks I was talking with a really cute girl about how it's horrendous that people are trying to simplify spelling in English (the "Society of Simple Spellers" or whatever they're called - the BBC did a report on them. These are the bastards that want to change women to "wimmen" and through to "thru," or, the worst, beautiful to "butiful"); then we discussed Nietzsche. I loved it.

It's amazing how these two jobs can be so radically different. It's like, I'm completely fulfilled at one while completely devoid of any stimulation at the other. The only joy I get at the tech support job is browsing all day; and though I do enjoy being well informed, there just seem to be so many better things I could be doing with my time - things like reading and learning.

Today should be interesting. In 8 hours I'm going to go into work and tell my boss I can't stay there. He'll be pissed. The desk is somewhat short handed and they're counting on me to be there; but, at the same time, the bookstore needs me, too.
I haven't even gone into the scheduling issues. That's a whole other entry by itself. Although with any luck, I won't have to make it, because it won't be an issue.

Sadly, this will hurt my finances by a decent amount. That is a large portion of income that I was planning on paying off bills with, but I can survive - I'll have to adjust my fashion styles for the time being. It won't be a glamorous life, but I'll be happy. I've realized that's really what I want in life - I want to be happy. Money helps being happy, that's definitely true (statistically, rich people are happier than poor), but if the job I work makes me unhappy, they need to pay me more than they are in order to keep me; they won't do that and I don't want them to.

(You'll note I've been using the term "unhappy" to describe how I feel at this job. I've found that that is really the only adjective that can actually present my overall mindset at the job. It's not disappointment, it's not sadness nor discontent - it is literally a lack of happiness.)

With any luck, by this time tomorrow, I'll be a much happier man.

[oh, and I have insomnia right now]

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