Thursday, October 4, 2007

Neglect

As with all the journals I've had throughout my life, this one has fallen under neglect. I'd like to correct this, and plan to do so shortly, but I just don't have the motivation to write at the moment. I wouldn't say I'm depressed, but definitely not motivated to do much right now.

I put my homework off till tonight at about 8pm and will definitely reap the consequences of that tomorrow when I turn it in barely half done. I have to be at work in
just under 6 hours, yet here I am, writing away because I'm not even motivated to go to bed yet. I've been finding excuses to do everything except what I need to do. I need to do my homework (failing this class is not an option), I just don't have the motivation. I tell myself all week long that I'm going to do it as soon as I get the assignment; that I'm going to work on it and ask questions and make sure each question is answered in full. Then, when I actually get the assignment, I find a reason to put it off. I finally decide to fix the screen door in my apartment that's been busted for over 3 months. I decide to head to the store to pick up a 3V battery for the remote control on my laptop DVD player. Upon getting back, I realize that I need shampoo, so I head back to the store again. I plan my finances for the next week, do some stretches, make a sandwich, clean my room...then I realize I should get to bed because I have to be at work at 7 the next morning and I want a good 8 hours of rest, so I go to bed at 9:30pm, homework still untouched.

The next day the cycle repeats, often repeating the same activities (cleaning my room, folding clothes, making food that I can't eat until sundown) and then go to bed early so I can get up and start the next day well-rested.

When the night before the assignment is due arrives, I finally accept that I can't put it off and start doing it, then realize I have no idea what I'm doing and so it gets turned in undone, because I don't have time the next morning to ask questions before I have to turn it in. Had I looked at it even a day sooner, I could have asked questions, thought about things longer, and really put some effort into solving it. What's worse, is that some of the problems I know how to get the answer, but I don't have time because it takes an hour's worth of equations to get there and due to my procrastination, I don't have that time.

It's my own fault, but it's something that, despite my best efforts, I can't fix. At least, I haven't been able to yet.
Next week will be different. I have a test in this class on Tuesday, and if I can prove I know what I'm doing on the test, hopefully he'll take that into consideration and realize that I'm just lazy on my homework. Hopefully.

I really should get to bed; I'll only get 4 and a half hours of sleep before I have to get up, and this is the second day in a row I've done that. It's really not healthy, but I've brought it on myself, so I'm not complaining.


Not verbally, at least.

1 comment:

Liquids5 said...

Ha, sounds like me. I've been procrastinating a lot lately. I guess I'm not alone.
BTW, I like that last picture a lot in reference to your entry.