Friday, February 29, 2008

It's been one week

My life has changed significantly in the last week.

At the time, I don't really know what to say about it; in the future I'm sure I'll write something more in depth and important.

For now, here's a list of what I ate yesterday:

Breakfast:
  • 3 strips of bacon
  • 2 sausage links
  • 2 eggs, scrambled
  • 1 bowl of fruit (mostly musk/honeydew melon)
  • 1/4 of a strawberry pastry
  • 2 6oz cartons of skim milk
  • 1 banana
  • 3 strawberries
Snacks between breakfast and lunch (6 hours):
  • 4 pieces of cinnamon gum
  • 3 slices of salmon with capers
  • 1 pear
  • 1 plate of vegetables that included 6 olives, 4 pieces of asparagus, 5 pieces of broccoli, 10 slices of jicama, 8 cheese cubes (3 cheddar, 3 pepperjack, 2 gouda), and 4 mini carrots
  • 1/2 protein bar
  • 1 banana
Lunch:
  • 1 slice of turkey with gravy
  • 2 ribs with BBQ sauce
  • 1/2 C bakes beans
  • 2 bowls of fruit (consisting mostly of melon, pineapple, and grapes)
Post Lunch Snacks:
  • 8oz skim milk
  • 1 pear
  • 1 1/2 C salted mixed nuts
And throughout the day I drank over 2.5 liters of water.

They feed you well on movie sets, yet somehow I still lost 5 lbs in the last week...weird.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Cloverfield

I just saw Cloverfield. I really liked it. It's been awhile since I've seen a really good monster movie; Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem was good, but not a "holy crap, there's a giant monster attacking your city!"

This was. Actually, it really was what would happen if a giant monster attacked NYC. There's really no other way to describe it; that's what would happen.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

THX1138

I think THX needs to make this their new intro.
I mean, who doesn't love tarsiers?

No one, that's who.

Monday, February 11, 2008

67 Random Thoughts

  1. There's a girl at work who one day looked at me and said "just so you're aware, we're not friends." That happened about six months ago and I still have never figured out why.
  2. I spent the last two weeks thinking that instead of buying books from B&N before I quit and lose my discount, that I should save up and buy myself a new suit before I go out to Utah. Then, today at church, a guy whom I've only spoken to a handful of times came up to me, asked if I could wear a size 32 waist and a 38 R suit - I replied that I could - and then he handed me a nice, charcoal gray three-piece suit saying that it didn't fit him anymore and he'd like me to have it. I was shocked, thanked him repeatedly, and am now the owner of a new suit. I suppose I can buy those books now.
  3. I just bid on a collection of Neil Gaiman's The Sandman graphic novels on ebay. The bidding started at $6 and within four hours has gone up to $42. I'm not sure what my max bid will be, but I'm somewhat anxious about how high it will raise in the next 19 hours.
  4. I really like my urban camo pants, but haven't worn them for awhile.
  5. My diet is rather relaxed these days. I was very strict about it for a few months, which allowed me to get in shape and shed some excess flab. I think it's starting to come back.
  6. I'm probably too paranoid about how I look.
  7. Since I started working at B&N, my book collection has increased by over 65 books. I've read 3 of them.
  8. Despite owning The Phantom of the Opera, Syriana, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior, Lethal Weapon 1-3, and The Elegant Universe on DVD, I've never seen them.
  9. I don't think I come off as friendly when I meet people.
  10. I've dated 4 girls in my life. I'm still kicking myself over that number not being five.
  11. I have way too many trinkets around my room. And I'm planning on taking them all with me when I move.
  12. I really like reading Nietzsche because he's so full of himself. I just find it incredible that someone can have an ego that massive.
  13. A lot of people think I'm stuck up or prideful, but in reality I do it as more of a self-defense mechanism. I'm really hard on myself, very critical of everything I do and often don't think I'm good enough, so I try to make up and often overcompensate, which leads people to think I'm egotistical.
  14. I don't drink enough water.
  15. I love John Cusack films.
  16. I have a non-sexual man-crush on Matthew McConaughey. By that I mean I think he'd be a really fun guy to spend time with.
  17. I had all four wisdom teeth removed after 6th grade. I wasn't put under, I just had a lot of novacaine.
  18. I remember high school as really fun, full of fun events and a great time in my life. I'm pretty sure I'm remembering it incorrectly.
  19. I miss going to class each day.
  20. I don't spend as much of my life playing video games as people think I do. In all reality, I probably only play an average of about 2-3 hours a week.
  21. I absolutely love to cook. It's one of my few passions in life.
  22. My favorite comics are as follows: Calvin & Hobbes, Zitz, Dilbert, The Boondocks, Retail.
  23. My favorite books are: Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, The Brothers Karamazov, The Hobbit/The Lord of the Rings, Stranger in a Strange Land.
  24. I'm not sure what my favorite movies are, but I'm pretty sure Traffic would be on the list. So would Blood Diamond.
  25. I wish I read more graphic novels.
  26. I read The Onion more than real newspapers.
  27. A lot of things I own look nice initially, but when you really look at them, they're not.
  28. I have a poster of a nuclear explosion on my wall - it looks like a photo of the Tsar Bomba - and I'm really not sure why I have it up. I bought it my sophomore year of college, but now I find it somewhat depressing. I keep telling myself to change it, but I'm not sure what I'd change it to. My brother gave me a whole roll of posters, but I can't think of one to put into the frame.
  29. I think The X-Files is the best show that has ever been on television.
  30. To date I still can't figure out why I have a think for girls with natural red hair. I'm starting to think I may be a Freudian.
  31. I think my brother's blog is more interesting to read than my own. I don't say that as self-deprecating, but rather as a matter of fact. I find that I enjoy his style of writing more than my own, and his posts often make me think more than mine do, as well. I started this blog to be a place for philosophical and introspective thoughts, yet more often than not I update it with what I do during the day. I don't like that. I'm going to try and be meaningful again. It does still bug me that he never capitalizes anything, but I suppose that's just his thing.
  32. I think my sister and brother-in-law need to update their blog more often.
  33. I really need a desk chair with a back. My stool causes me to slouch, and it's not good for my back.
  34. I want to take up yoga. I think it'd be good for me. Plus I really like the mats and bags we sell at B&N.
  35. One of my coworkers, whenever asked if B&N carries a book, will reply "well, I've got one," or "I'm sorry, but I don't have one," using I instead of we. He's not the owner of the store; he doesn't own the book. It bothers me.
  36. I keep telling myself that in the next few months I'll get a real job, but have no idea what that actually means.
  37. My closet is organized by shirt type and chromatically.
  38. My pants aren't.
  39. I absolutely adore the planet earth DVD series. It may be one of the best purchases I've ever made when it comes to DVDs. I also think the Grosse Pointe Blank/High Fidelity two-pack was a great purchase.
  40. While I admit that Final Fantasy VI is the best of the series, my personal favorite is Final Fantasy IV. There's something I love about the storyline, even if it is linear.
  41. I really like playing Scrabble.
  42. I wish I was better at Chess.
  43. One of my personal goals is to run a mile in under 6 minutes. A few months ago I thought I completed a mile in 5 minutes and 47 seconds. That was on a treadmill, so I don't think it really counts.
  44. Someday, I'd like to return to Japan. I think it'd be a great place to retire to.
  45. I want to backpack across Europe.
  46. I wish I had gone out camping more as a teenager. For some reason I have yet to discover, I decided that I didn't like camping around the time I was 14, and as such refused or adamantly fought against any camping trips my father or the Boy Scouts planned. I really regret doing that now. I want to be more of an outdoorsman.
  47. I've always found fascination in the why of things. It's what drove me to study physics. I'm rarely satisfied with something unless I understand the why of it. I constantly scrutinize myself and my past to find out and understand why things happened. I overanalyze the actions of those around me and create psychological profiles of them so that I can better understand why they act the way they do, or they they might have done something the way they did. I find it fascinating - learning how things work and operate - and wonder how people can be so accepting of things when they don't fully understand how or why they work.
  48. I notice far more about my surroundings than I let on.
  49. I remember a lot more details than I admit. I found at an early age that people thought it odd that I remembered minor characters names from movies or knew exactly who said what quote or remembered word-for-word details of conversations people had around me. Because of this, I would always act like I didn't recall details when I actually did so that people wouldn't think me weird. While I don't have a photographic memory, it is better than I let on.
  50. I care more about my friends than I ever admit.
  51. While my family often times drives me up the wall on vacations, I love them more than I could ever put into words and am thankful for them every single day. But I don't think I could ever say that in person. I honestly feel really weird expressing how I honestly feel about people. I think it largely has to do with my past history of relationships and personal interactions often being ruined or destroyed because of me trying to express myself. What I fail to realize is that there is a chasm-sized difference between how a girl reacts to being told you think she's the most beautiful girl you've ever seen and your family being told you love them. Nonetheless, I've found I can circumvent the seemingly obvious difference and just not express how I feel about people at all.
  52. I think I'm more childish than I like.
  53. I was so excited that I found steel cut oats at the grocery store yesterday that I actually dreamed about them last night. While the dream was rather bizarre, waking from it was fantastic, because before I went to bed I set the timer on my rice maker to start making the oats in the morning, so when I awoke, I had perfectly cooked oats ready for eating. That rice maker is my favorite appliance.
  54. I don't think I understanding the dating/relationship dynamic. I feel like years ago I missed a class or seminar on dating and how it works, and as such am not a step behind everyone when it comes to relationships. I highly doubt it's true, as I definitely paid attention in school and would have been aware if there was indeed a seminar on the dynamics of dating. Still, I always feel like it's something others can do far more naturally and easily than I can. I'm quite certain this connects back to my self-deprecating and scrutinizing view of myself, but that doesn't make it any less problematic on the relationship front.
  55. I need a new DVD rack. The two I currently own are full.
  56. I also need a new bookshelf. Or two small ones.
  57. I like to think there's a lot of good in humanity and that everyone is just honestly trying their best to be a good person, even though they may not be. I'm probably quite delusional about this.
  58. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. I've knowingly done some things I shouldn't have and I've unknowingly not done some things I should have. I'd like to be one of those people who doesn't think there are mistakes in life and that you should never regret something because it just holds you in the past, but I can't do that. I've made mistakes. I regret a lot of things. I try to learn from the past, from my mistakes. I try to learn who I am by the mistakes I've made and more importantly by the mistakes that I make again and again and again. I don't know much about who I am, though. Each time I think I've got myself figured out, I do something or muck up my life in such a way that I'm confused again. It may be that I'm subconsciously scared of ever knowing or seeing who I actually am. Or maybe I'm just a drama queen (king?) and just can't have things in my life be fully understood at any given moment because I find it boring, like some mucked-up life-sized uncertainty principle, "you can't know who you are and why you do the things you do at the same time." It feels messed up.
  59. I think I take responsibility for too much of my life and too many problems. I have trouble ever letting or giving someone else responsibility for the things that happen in my life. While this isn't a bad thing, it does lead to me believing that everything that has gone wrong in my life has been my fault, which has led to more than one complete breakdown.
  60. Plain yogurt has more calories and sugar than vanilla yogurt does. That doesn't make any sense to me.
  61. We read The Catcher in the Rye my sophomore year of high school in English class. At the time, I remember thinking "why does everyone think this book is so great?" I still haven't figured out why.
  62. I often wonder how much I actually know about Physics and how much I just kind of figure out as I go along.
  63. I wish I knew more about programming and how to do it.
  64. I have a very hard time throwing anything away, be it an old homework assignment or a stick of chapstick I haven't used in 3 years.
  65. I should go to the gym more than I do. I used to go three days a week, now I barely go two. Books and articles always say that if you can go to the gym regularly for six weeks you'll form a habit and from then on it gets easier, but I'm guessing whomever wrote those articles didn't live in Minnesota during the winter with the temperature reaching -15 F pre-windchill.
  66. In two weeks I'll be living with my brother. We haven't lived together for nearly a decade. It should be an interesting experience.
  67. I have a sense of style, I just don't have the financial means to fully express it. Most of my clothes, while stylish in their own right, leave something to be desired in the quality department.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Caucusing

I didn't caucus yesterday. Nor did I vote.

A lot of people gave me crap for that, saying "get out and make a difference," but I have my reasons. I know most of the candidates general positions on the subjects and, more importantly, I know Minnesota's voting history. I know what candidates I like and whom I would/will vote for, and knew which candidates Minnesota would support; I also knew they were one and the same.

I was right.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

I wish I knew what to say

I haven't really said much about President Hinckley's passing. I was never really sad about it; I had more of an "oh..." reaction.

I considered writing something here, but never knew what to say. I go through spurts of righteousness and enthusiasm about the church, and I suppose at this moment I'm sort of on the decline. I haven't been that excited about religion recently, though that's not to say I ignore it by any means. It just means I don't get excited about church things like I do at other times.

I wish I knew what to say about this. I wish I had some heartfelt, deeply spiritual thoughts about him. I wish I could go on about how he inspired to me to be a better person and how I took every chance to hear him speak. I didn't. I enjoyed hearing him speak, but I never got giddy about the idea or jumped at the chance. It's odd, but now, I feel like something is missing. I feel like something that is honestly missing from the world. It's the same feeling I had when Lindsey and I broke up years ago; it's a feeling of being incomplete; of knowing that there's an absence of something great and important.

It's the sudden loss and noticeable absence of love.

I suppose I often deny it when these things come to me. As I said, I go on bursts of righteousness and faith, and then I slowly pull back, thinking about things through critical eyes and telling myself "You believe this, but you don't know it's true. You believe it to be true because you feel it is true, but have you ever put that much effort into finding out if Buddhism or Islam or Hinduism is true? Have you ever put as much faith in them as you do into that which you were raised? Maybe they provoke the same feelings. You don't know and as such you can't say for certain your faith is true. It may be merely a placebo effect. You may be feeling it's true because you want it to be true." There are times when I do feel things - when things might not work out at all and yet I'm completely content and actually happy, even though my plans failed or that cute girl said "Sorry, let's just be friends." It doesn't make any sense, but there's something inside me that tells me "It's ok. This is for the best," and instead of doubting it or arguing or becoming sad, I know it's true and I smile.

As I was saying, I don't know exactly what to say about the Prophet's death. I think my brother's description of him was more accurate and clear than I could ever write, so I'm just going to quote him (he never capitalizes his blog and I have no idea why):

"he was never an old man--he knew what was going on in the world and was someone you could turn to for advice; he was a dictionary example of what it meant to have a twinkle in your eye; he cracked jokes that made us genuinely laugh; his smile made you feel comfortable, loved, and encouraged; just hearing his voice brought peace and optimism; when he spoke, the worries and fears around you were forgotten, and the choices to doing good were suddenly so clear. he taught us to be grateful, be smart, be clean, be true, be humble, and to be prayerful."

That was President Hinckley. That was the man whom I now know provided so much love and peace in this world. That was the man who's absence I now feel.

And I miss him.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

300, v3.0

Completed in 56 minutes.