Monday, November 17, 2008

I'mma do the things that I wanna do

[I'm not sure how many times I've referenced Weezer's song "Pork and Beans" on here; it's been at least three, maybe four. I feel bad using it yet again but it is very relevant to this topic.]

Can you blame them?

A friend of mine made a blog post on Friday about her nigh-obsession with Twilight. I can't say I was surprised since every girl from the age of 13 through 60 seem to be enamored with these books, particularly with Edward. It's somewhat of a bane on men, similar to Jack Sparrow. He's a fictional character, but more than that, he's supernatural. Women swoon over the thought of him and there's absolutely nothing any guy could do to compete with such a fantasy. No matter how hard a guy were to try, he could never attain that level of perfection. We will always be second or third or fourth to these fictional men. It's not unlike guys pining for Barbie.

This post is not meant to rant about emotional insecurities regarding my abilities to find a girl and successfully swoon her. Truthfully I don't dislike Jack Sparrow nor Edward Cullen. Johnny Depp created one of the most memorable and fun characters in decades and every time I watch the Pirates of the Caribbean movies I remember that I do love him. I haven't read the Twilight series yet though I would like to, and while I've heard mixed reviews of them (women love them, men are usually unimpressed) I doubt I'll dislike Edward. Once again, it's not the character I dislike, it's the reactions people have towards him. In 7th grade I didn't like Leonardo DiCaprio because every girl wanted him then and now he's one of my favorite actors. Johnny Depp was an actor I greatly admired until I grew sick of hearing about Jack Sparrow. I can only imagine Edward Cullen will be in a similar boat.

I'll read this someday

What I'm getting at through all this is not that I despise or loathe any man, real or fictional, who poses a threat on the metaphorical playing field; I don't. What I'm getting at is that my friend started off her blog by saying "In the very recent past, I have started to just not care who knows that I like the Twilight Saga movies." While I'm picky and will point out she can't say she likes the movie(s) yet since they're not out, she knows the books better than most people know the Bible and I have no doubt she knows the trailers inside and out. Yet outside of reading her blog, you wouldn't know that about her. While one of my friends won't shut up about the books, this girl, despite being a most-likely bigger fan of the series, isn't as vocal about it. I applaud her non-vocalization of things that in many ways annoy me, but at the same time I fully support her statement of not caring who knows it.

I am, at my very core, a geek. I was in the accelerated classes and got through elementary and secondary education with minimal effort; I don't recall ever studying for a math or science test in high school. I did musical theatre and listened to showtunes almost exclusively

I could name everyone pictured

. I read fantasy and science fiction novels. I could quote all three Star Wars movies and discuss the intricate background of characters who are only passed by in the Mos Eisley cantina. I played Dungeons & Dragons. I spent hours on my computer playing Diablo II, Fallout II, Doom/Quake, Baldur's Gate, and dozens of other games I could list off that I still know in detail. I've played Nintendo games for literally as long as I can remember, wanting so badly to play them as a child I would wake my sister up on Saturday mornings so she could guide me through the world maps and dungeons on Zelda; she had to tell me "stairs" and "fireplace" to denote left and right because I didn't know which was which at the time. She was always a good sport about it and I thank her for that.

In the past few years I feel I have somewhat betrayed my geekdom. While I still partake of many of these activities I tend to hide it. I've become somewhat worried about what others might think if they knew that I've read The Hobbit over a dozen times, that I at one time owned four copies of the Star Wars trilogy (and I own the Holiday Special), that I have twice driven over 23 hours (each way) across the nation to attend an anime convention, or that I personally own over a dozen complete anime series on DVD, some of which encompass over 150 episodes. I could go on, but I think you get the point. I am still a geek but I seem to have lost my pride. I became worried about what others would think of me - what girls would think of me - and as such began hiding who I am.

This is CNN

I'm struggling to not make a Lion King reference here and go on about having "forgotten who [I am]" but I feel that would be too melodramatic and it's not quite true. Part of this is simply that I've changed. I haven't watched the Star Wars trilogy in years simply because I just don't really have the desire to. I own them on DVD - the real original trilogy, the theatrical one - but I haven't watched them. I haven't read The Hobbit in close to four years; I've had other things I'd rather read like Nietzsche or Gaiman. I changed my wardrobe from oversized geeky graphic tees to more stylish, fitted shirts from threadless.com, the occasional band shirt/hoodie and 1MX shirts from Express because I feel better when I wear clothes that fit. I bought a guitar and have started to play it, oddly enough not to get girls but rather for fun. I read Men's Health because I honestly care about my health and fitness, again, not to get girls but rather to enjoy outdoor activities more completely.

I suppose this may be me maturing; growing up; becoming an adult.

At the same time I do still have the occasional desire to throw in Neon Genesis Evangelion into my DVD player and spend 12 hours watching the entire series. Or those moments when I do miss being able to name every officer in the Death Star's war room. Or when I get somewhat nostalgic seeing someone with a Legend of Zelda reference on their t-shirt.

Then again, I did choose the address for my blog to be www dot rampaging chocobo dot com, which is a direct Final Fantasy reference (taken from a mark hunt in Final Fantasy XII). Perhaps my geekiness isn't all gone.

What I really wanted to say is that I'm trying to follow my friend's lead and not care who knows I'm a geek. It might turn some people away, but that just means they would have turned away once they found out anyways.

A show with ninjas: but done well

I like fantasy and science fiction books. I like writing computer code. I like vampires and their mythologies. I like pirates and ninjas. I like anime. I like Dungeons & Dragons. I like being a geek. I'm still going to go to the gym, snowboard, play my guitar and dress well, but I'm going to be a geek, too. With my brother out of town this week, I think I may see if I can't reignite my interest in anime: I've got about 100 episodes of Naruto to catch up on.

5 comments:

Brooke said...

I am flattered. Finally, you pick something I can contribute to in the way of a conversation. I will have to come up with a response. :)

pynkpandah said...

I'm proud to be a geek, i wear those colours with pride every single day. I had to fight hard in high school and through life in general as a female geek and i have no intentions whatsoever of hiding that side of me. I play Chess and argue "Who shot first?".

I not only love the original Star Wars movies but i read the extended Star Wars galaxy books. I count Timothy Zahn amoung one of my favorite authors simply because of the Heir to the Empire trilogy. I liked Lord of the Rings, but i loved the Hobbit so much i own a hard cover illustrated, glossy paged version that i simply worship.

I have an appointment to get the number 42 tattooed on the back of my neck and next month i plan on putting "Don't Panic" in large reasurring letters on the inside of my arm. I watch Anime and Sci Fi (I collect comics by Joss Whedon because i cried when Firefly and Angel both finished).

The list goes on, and on. Oh, and i'm a computer game junkie too - i owned a commodore 64 when i was younger and it was the coolest thing ever. Until i got an Atari that is.

I'm a geek to the very core of my being and I'm not sure that i can change that. if i did, well then i wouldn't be me anymore. Not even a different version of me, just... not me.

The point is, I know who i am and I would never want to be with someone that i can't sit on the couch with and giggle over how bad the Storm Trooper school for pew pew lazer's is. Or someone that can't sit down and argue who the better Marvel character is. Or! who would win a fight between Batman and Wonder Woman. (My money is on Wonder Woman)

Oh and P.S: I dislike Twilight and pretty much everything that goes with the books, including Edward. So not *all* women like them. (And it's not a vampire thing, trust me on that. It's a Twilight thing.) :p

But i do love Johnny Depp! But that's a 21 Jump Street thing >.>

Orga said...

Dude: if you're trying to catch up on Naruto, make sure that you skip the filler episodes. Seriously, I think there were at least 50.

Find a Naruto fan site and do some research into that, because there is nothing redeeming about that filler. You can skip it all with absolutely no loss to the show.

Tim said...

Brooke - I appreciated your response on your blog; it's nice to know guys still have a chance in this world.

Shell - I used to read the Star Wars books as well. I loved the Jedi Academy trilogy, although nowadays I'm scared to reread them because I don't really think they were very well written.

Orga - I've actually seen all but about 15 episodes of filler or so. I watched through episode 210 or so of the original series. I haven't started the Hurricane Chronicles yet though, which is what I need to do.

--jeff * said...

1. i look forward to playing "river city ransom" with you on the NES at Christmas. as always. maybe we can finally get that megalopolis on "sim city", too.

2. i wish i had a "legend of zelda" t-shirt.

3. a few weeks ago, i decided i was through being cool, and enjoyed being who i am and what i like. while still trying to better myself.

4. i'm back. how'd the anime fest go?