Monday, February 9, 2009

The Midnight Oyster

The Midnight Oyster

I love my car. It's a 2005 Hyundai Tiburon, midnight blue, aptly named "The Midnight Oyster" since it vaguely resembles one. I've also decided it's female. I think most cars are, though.

I am not a car guy. I know some things about cars; I can name a few basic makes and models, I know what a 1967 Shelby Mustang GT500 is, and I know that BMWs are the engineering equivalent of sex. Beyond that the details and ins-and-outs of cars get kind of fuzzy. I've always believed that if I put my mind to it I could figure it out. I also think a garage and some real tools would be handy.

Even without any in-depth mechanical knowledge, I know basic maintenance. By "basic maintenance" I mean I know when to take it in for an oil change and I have a pretty good idea of when Jiffy Lube tries to screw me. I don't think they have yet; I hadn't changed my blinker fluid since I got the car so they were probably right to recommend that.

I took The Midnight Oyster in on Saturday to get the oil changed. I went to Jiffy Lube since oil changes are what they do and while I could do it myself, I don't have the facilities to do so. And I figured I could spare the $50; I budgeted for it when I got my paycheck. Driving up to the place I notice that it's pretty crowded -- cars were backed up all the way across the parking lot and if my car wasn't so small and nimble I wouldn't have fit in the line. The serviceman who came out pointed out that they're pretty crowded and it'd be about an hour and a half wait -- if I wanted to try their other location I might have better luck. Not knowing where it was I asked; it was literally around the corner about two blocks away.

Note the distance

I'm not sure who is in charge of Jiffy Lube locations but I would think putting two service stations less than three blocks away from each other might not be great for business. I think they'd compete with each other. Just a thought.

Trying the second location I found they were far less busy and there was only about a fifteen minute wait. In the lobby they had Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III playing on the TV; all I could think of seeing it is that I once got coffee for the man responsible for that film being made. It was an odd sensation.

While contemplating this feeling of being perhaps -- in some remote, alternate universe way -- responsible for that movie, Katie Holmes popped her head in and said my car was up and they had some questions.

My mechanic

After doing a double take it occurred to me that it wasn't actually Katie Holmes but rather a girl who looked remarkably like her, down to the half-cocked smile, slightly chubby cheeks and wide-set eyes. It was uncanny. Also, beautiful. (It would not be amiss to point out that I find it incredibly attractive if a girl can do something that is considered "manly" like killing zombies or working on cars. Hunting doesn't count, though.)

She asked me what kind of oil I wanted, if I wanted to replace the air filter, tires rotated, etc. I decided that The Midnight Oyster is my car and I want to take care of her so I got most of the maintenance done. I also tried to work up the nerve to ask Katie out
(I never did learn her name). I failed on that account.

The Midnight Oyster is now running better. She has a little more drive, but still not quite what she had when I bought her a year and a half ago. I plan on taking her in next weekend to get the fuel system cleaned -- I've been told that that'll bring back a lot of the jump. I'd like to do that. If Katie is working, I'm also going to ask her out.


--jeff * said...

i recommend "american auto care", a little further down the street from the main jiffy lube, across from wendy's. the charge less and i genuinely trust them.
but katie holmes doesn't work there.

Alisha said...

you pay 50 dollars for a general oil change????? I go to FastTrack and pay 30, and they do a lot of other shit for free, too. Does Jiffy wash your windows? Generally 20 is the main rate around here.

I had my blinker fluid changed the other day too.

Tim said...

It's only like $25-30 for the oil change, but I get the high-grade synthetic oil. It costs a bit more.