Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Some movies have it coming

The following are excerpts from reviews for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen found on Rotten Tomatoes:

A great grinding garbage disposal of a movie, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen isn't so much a narrative film as a cacophonous series of explosions intermittently interrupted by needless dialogue.

-Tom Long, Detroit News


So what if he can’t put a coherent series of shots together? Bay’s going for pure sensation, and everyone knows dramatic continuity is for women and the weak.

-Ty Burr, Boston Globe


I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it's immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long.

-Victoria Alexander, FilmsInReview.com


Good when it is good, but extremely, shockingly, horrifyingly bad when it is bad.

-Willie Waffle, WaffleMovies.com (that's one of the POSITIVE reviews)

And of course, we can't forget Roger Ebert:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination.
...
The movie has been signed by Michael Bay. This is the same man who directed "The Rock" in 1996. Now he has made "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen." Faust made a better deal.
...
There are many great-looking babes in the film, who are made up to a flawless perfection and look just like real women, if you are a junior fanboy whose experience of the gender is limited to lad magazines.
Even after these reviews, I'm excited for this film. Not because I expect it to be good--I don't--nor do I expect to like it on the same lines that I like Bloodsport or Big Trouble in Little China.

I'm excited for this movie because a new Transformers movie means a new RiffTrax for the new Transformers movie. If you're not familiar with RiffTrax, it's done by the same guys who created Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3k), a show where they mercilessly mock bad movies. It ran for 10 seasons. They usually did old B-movies since in order to air the movies they had to get the rights to them, and it's not exactly a small feat to get the rights to, say Star Wars: Episode II.

After MST3k ended, the same guys figured out that with the internet, they could simply record audio dialog of them mocking whatever movies they wanted and let their viewers just play the audio along with the movie they legitimately buy/rent (hopefully just rent). This avoids any of those legal snafus regarding rights of distribution and costs, meaning they can make fun of any movie they want. The first one I ever saw: Transformers.

It had it coming

I haven't laughed that hard at a movie in years, if ever. The first Transformers film is pretty awful, though it is entertaining. RiffTrax makes it hilarious with wonderful lines like "Based on the way it's shot, I fear Michael Bay involvement, Sir." and "I summon the power of hotness!" If you can spare the $3.99 to download the audio, it's worth it, I promise.

So, I'm excited for Transformers 2, but only because that means there's more material for Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy (otherwise known as Crow), and Bill Corbett (Tom Servo) to mock and humiliate. I'm already giddy.

1 comment:

--jeff * said...

i'm still going to go see it, despite the bad reviews, because i wasn't expecting a good movie in the first place.

but mostly, i'm excited for the same reason you're excited: rifftrax.....

some movies have it coming.